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Conficker Causes Global Meltdown and Thermonuclear War

As usual, Brian Krebs from the Washington Post has done some fine reporting bringing us news about the Conficker Worm Strike. Here are some choice excerpts of the horror that is raining down upon the world:

"A nuclear missile installation near Elmendorf Air force Base outside of Anchorage, Alaska briefly went on a full-scale military alert after technicians manning the bunker suspected that several of their control systems were infected with Conficker."

"According to local news reports, shortly after midnight local time, an ATM in the capital city of Reykjavik began spewing 100-Krona notes."

It's time to auger in with an AR-15 and your favorite dog Will Smith "I Am Legend" style.

Conficker also stole my

Conficker also stole my lunch money, shoved a little old lady down in front of a bus and held up a convenience store. Then it stole a taxi and is currently holed up in an abandoned farmhouse with guns, money and hostages.

Conficker invalidated my IDA

Conficker invalidated my IDA license, made me reauthorize to Microsoft WGA, and turned off caching in my CPU!

What you didn't invest in

What you didn't invest in the new "Conficker-Away" spray that the sham-wow guy advertised?

lol

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